i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
