Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he was CRYING into my vagina
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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