Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
