I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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