I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
