so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
