dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
