if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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