he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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