Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
