I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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