can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
A bitchslap is in order.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
