Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
