I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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