oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
