i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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