The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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