help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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