I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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