WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
