It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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