Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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