you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My feet surprised me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
