So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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