I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wow bdsm is so cute
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
