worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Pooping to opera.
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