guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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