i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
that is very illegal...i love you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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