Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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