So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
