Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
vagina is talking i cant
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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