i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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