Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
