I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
