You're my little dorito
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
