I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
