just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
