butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You can't special order awesome
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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