Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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