Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize