Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
