Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
