I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
