I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
