i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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