Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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