So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
