Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
