Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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