there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
