i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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