just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
