What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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