RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
